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Experiment with different lubes. Do the olden ways stand up to today's modern superjackoffery? Please enter a Username. How do you like to masturbate? I don't have a degree in anthropology or dick tuggery, but I am an amateur in both.

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Sure, if you're dying of a terrible disease, you can go to a hospital for treatment with modern medicine, but some people still like the idea of using herbs to clear up a sucking chest wound. Have our advances in texturized rubbers improved our alone time? Maybe it's Halloween and you have a pumpkin handy. It's as simple as that. But the Fleshlight in hand makes it a bit more like mixing a never-ending martini that you can't drink -- and instead of an olive, you're garnishing it with man nectar that you need to hose out the end of a length of flopping, disembodied, pseudo-vaginal canal. I'm not saying you can't use turkey, or even tofurky, if you swing that way. There are a million different fetishized clothing items, from jockstraps to hosiery to full-body Lycra suits.

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